It's the pictures that got small

Pajiba ("Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People") is holding a Classic Movie Week. So far, they've covered two of my favorites: Double Indemnity and Sunset Blvd. (Do you know how I know Pajiba reviewer Dan Carlson is straight? All his headline quotes from Sunset Blvd. are from Joe, not Norma).

We caught Sunset Blvd. last week^* at the CAPA Summer Movie Series at the Ohio Theater. That is the right environment for that movie: a late-20's classic movie palace, beautifully restored and preserved. You want to be with an audience that applauds when Norma says, "I am big. It's the pictures that got small." And there's nothing quite like that feeling in the grand, old theater when she looks right out at you and invokes "those wonderful people out there in the dark."

"Pajiba." What a great word. Reminds me of a word my grandma used to use: pajayvus. I'm pretty sure they mean the same thing.

^* We also went to the "Vamp & Camp" Double Feature of She Done Him Wrong and Cobra Woman; Mike, you should post a review.

First Impressions of "New Pathways"

I hear that the first printing of Cat Bordhi's "New Pathways for Sock Knitters" is sold out. I got mine because KnittingBrow yanked a copy out of a customer's hand and put it on reserve for me.

My first impression was that this was the best sock book ever written. I thought that this book was going to replace Simple Socks, Plain and Fancy as the Sock Bible, or expand the scriptures (Simple Socks = Old Testament; New Pathways = New Testament).

"New Pathways" has great photographs and illustrations, an engaging style, clear instructions, and beautiful page layout. The eureka moment of the book is Bordhi's discovery that increases for a sock can go anywhere in the arch -- just distribute 2 increases every 3 rounds. Bordhi runs with this idea, finding an incredible variety of design inspirations. Names are important, and she has attached wonderful labels to her different styles of sock architecture: Ridgeline, Riverbed, Upstream, etc.

I was most impressed with her formula for figuring out the length of the toe section of a sock: stitch circumference ÷ rounds-per-inch, subtracted from the total length of the foot. Awesome, right? And it worked!

Sort of.

For this sock, I tried her"Riverbed" architecture, made in the "Rainbow Trout" colorway. (Get it? "Trout?" "Riverbed?" I slay me). Bordhi says, "Riverbed architecture seems to fit many people exceptionally well, perhaps because it hugs the contours of the foot so naturally...." I like the theory, but as you can see, when I tried the Riverbed Master Pattern, I ended up with a pretty fat sock. The length is perfect, exactly what I was shooting for, but the sock is easily an inch too big around across the instep.

I'm not giving up. It could be that I've loused it up with inconsistent gauge -- I noticed that my gauge did change once I began increasing, and I ripped back a dozen rows to correct that with smaller needles. Bordhi has a great track record for successful innovation in knitting techniques, and there's so much great stuff in here. I hope I'm able to resolve my issues and bring the innovations of this book into my sock knitting toolkit.

Mephitis mephitis

Just when you thought it was safe to go outside...

Long time readers may remember how last summer we learned the hard way that skunks live nearby. On occasion I've had to close the bedroom windows in the night because skunk musk has wafted into the room, but we've had no close encounters since Mike's mishap. I fear that could change.

Ten minutes ago, I was leaning against the front door, stretching after my morning run (yes, I'm running again). There was a noise off to my right, and I figured it was one of the chipmunks that live out front. But when I looked, I saw a skunk shuffling toward me, not three feet away.

I dashed off, hoping to get out of the fallout zone if he cut loose. I know I startled him as much as he startled me, because I heard him scrambling as I ran away. I paced on the sidewalk for several minutes, scared to go back, but smelling nothing, I eventually made my way back into the apartment.

Better stock up on hydrogen peroxide and baking soda.

Cobblestone Sweater

I wish it were otherwise, but when I decide to knit a sweater, it's generally because I think the model is cute.

So this is why, more than one skein into a plain, green EPS sweater, I broke the yarn and cast on for BrooklynTweed's Cobblestone Pullover from the Fall issue of Interweave Knits.

There's a garter stitch strip about 3 inches wide running up each side, which keeps the knitting fairly interesting. I'm eager to see whether the circular yoke construction fits me. And of course, as always, I expect the sweater to transform me physically so that I look like the model.

In a fun little change of pace, I've been winding the skeins by hand -- not into balls but into yarn cocoons. This is cool technique from Jacqueline Fee's The Sweater Workshop.


The yarn lies in this bundle, somewhat more loosely than in a ball. It's held in a figure-8 shape, and it unravels back and forth from the top of the cocoon. Mary Lou Egan posted instructions and a video on the Yarnerinas blog (instructions below the spelling stuff).

High Maintenance Ass-Clown

I entered "Venti Iced Tea, Black, Unsweetened, No Water" into The All-Knowing Oracle of Starbucks.

Behold the Oracle's wisdom:

Personality type: High Maintenance

You pride yourself on being assertive and direct; everyone else thinks you're bossy and arrogant. You're constantly running your mouth about topics that only you would find interesting. Your capacity for wasting other people's time is limitless. Your friends find you intolerable, that's why they're plotting to kill you.

Also drinks: Water. Bottled, chilled, with four ice cubes, a twist of lemon, in a crystal glass.
Can also be found at: Trendy martini bars

Wow. For my usual morning order, "Venti Mild," I got:

Personality type: Ass-clown

You tell people that you're an executive at your company. You think that your repeated references to being "addicted" to caffeine make you seem intriguing and dangerous. People think you're a sucker because you spend 60% of your annual income at Starbucks. Everyone who drinks Venti Mild ends up addicted to crack.

Also drinks: Zima
Can also be found at: Karaoke bars

Aging sucks

The day I bought new running shoes, Mike and I went for a short hike after lunch. Midway through, I noticed a blurry spot in my vision. A bit later, I noticed that it was crescent-shaped, acting like the afterimage you see when you look at a bright light. It was a very bright day, so I assumed I caught a reflection off a windshield or something. It faded, but it was back the next day. I kept seeing it off and on over the week, and went to my optometrist to get it checked out.

He noticed that my left eye (where I could sometimes see the crescent) was still 20/20 but was now weaker than my right eye, and told me I had vitreous separation, something that happens to everyone when they age. If there's a problem, it will show up within 6 weeks, and I should call if there are changes. He also mentioned that I might need reading glasses.

So I went merrily on, still worrying off and on about the new blurriness. I decided to check in with my g.p. He looked alarmed, suspected I had retinal detachment, and sent me immediately to the ophthalmologist. Several tense hours later, the ophthalmologist confirmed the original diagnosis -- I'm getting old; it's nothing to worry about.

Oh well. I look good in glasses. Time to go buy some.

While I was waiting, I noticed this in the exam room:

If you click through to a higher resolution, you can see it says "Place sharp in container opening then lift door until sharp drops." When did "sharp" become a noun? Why wasn't I informed of this?

Pick my plate

It's about time for me to renew my registration, so I'd like your advice. Which of these options do you think is best?





Cast your vote in the comments, or send email to yarmando at gmail dot com.

Other suggestions are welcome, particularly if you can find a way to fit "Evil Sock Genius" into 7 letters.

Update:

Jacki's suggestion needs to be added to the ballot.

Back to the Couch

I'm sorry to report that, after a mere 4 training days, my Couch-to-5K exercise plan has faltered and failed. My right ankle began complaining on the second day, and it became clear over the next two runs that this won't simply go away if I just soldier on. I skipped Wednesday's run to give my ankle more time to rest after Monday, bought an ankle stabilizer, and tried it out this morning. Just a few steps was enough to tell me it won't be enough.

You may not believe this, but I'm genuinely disappointed. I was proud of myself for taking this on, and proud of my modest success, considering I haven't seriously exercised regularly in years. I felt inspired to keep with this, and while I know that feeling won't last, it was important to keep me going through the first months.

Maybe I'll get my ankle looked at after my vacation next week, have the doctor tell me what's going on and whether I can try again. I know I should find something low impact which I can do no matter the weather, but nothing else appeals, and it's demoralizing.

The "Just Start Knitting" Sock Method

I'm on disc 7 of Deathly Hallows, and making good progress on the sock. Updates can be found on my Flickr pages, which I've started keeping up because of Ravelry. Ravelry is cool, almost exactly what I had wanted. I expect it will cut down on the amount of tedious sock exposition here. But not quite yet.

I've been having great success lately with my "Just Start Knitting" toe-up sock method. Here's how it works:

I take a circular needle, 40 inches or longer for working Magic Loop, in the size indicated on the yarn band. (I knit pretty tightly, so others might want to go down a needle size. Use your intuition). Then I use Turkish cast-on:

• Hold your circular needle so that both ends are together, pointed to the right.
• Pull the bottom needle to the right, so your top needle is held together with the bottom cord.
• Start your yarn in back of the needles, leaving a 12" tail hanging.
• Wrap the yarn down toward you, down across the front and up the back of the needles.

Wrap until you have the same number of loops as the yarn label says there are stitches in an inch. Then you'll begin making a lovely round toe, inspired by the Queen Kahuna method.

• Knit half a round, across the stitches on one needle.
• Hold working yarn and tail together, and work 1 round. This doubles the number of loops on each side.
• Drop the tail, and knit one round, working a stitch in each loop.

See? If you start by casting on 6 stitches, you increase to 24 almost immediately. If you start with 9 cast-on loops (as I did with the "Deathly Hallows" socks), you quickly get to 36 stitches.

Then I begin increasing for the toe. And by the time I'm approaching the desired circumference for the size I intend to make (usually about 8.5 inches), I have enough worked that I can check the gauge and whether I like the resulting fabric. Not much time invested, so it's easy to start over, but if it's good, then you didn't waste that time doing a gauge swatch.

One note, though: I typically overshoot the increases by one set. I can't tell until I've worked an inch or two, and often I have to frog back (or in the case of the "Deathly Hallows" socks, improvise by adding ribbing and some cable twists). Then I keep knitting, and wait for inspiration about how to do the heel.

Deathly Hallows

Picked up my copy of the Harry Potter audiobook this morning, and decided I needed to knit a pair of socks while listening. So this is my "Deathly Hallows" sock, in Cider Moon Icicle, colorway "Lost," at the end of the first disk.

Not sure what pattern I might use to give it some flair. Skulls seem appropriate, either in lace or maybe knit in with some of the glow-in-the-dark yarn I scored last month.

*pant* *pant* *pant*

Brisk five-minute warmup walk. Then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for a total of 20 minutes.

One day down. Now the trick is to stop sweating before I get in the shower.

First day really wasn't bad at all. A minute of running is about 160 steps, so I just count 80 beats of my right foot. The hardest part was keeping track of the 90 seconds of walking.

I promise not to post often the tiresome details of my new commitment to exercise. Just the milestones.

Hey, I think I've stopped sweating!

Couch-to-5K

Because my dad died of a heart attack when he was 42 years and 127 days old, I am now older than he was (by almost 100 days). So it's officially time to get serious about exercise.

I have occasionally exercised. I walked a lot in high school, college, and grad school. I used to have a rowing machine, a Power Rider, and an elliptical apparatus. Occasionally, I've gone running, sometimes doing that every couple days for weeks on end. Inevitably I find an excuse to stop: the weather gets bad, work gets busy, Buffy gets canceled, etc.

When I turned 40, I had a stress test, and everything was great. Blood pressure was high initially, but I pointed out to the nurse that I was about to be shirtless and exercising in front of strangers, so I was under a little stress. BP came down and stayed steady throughout the test.

Somehow I turned that into an excuse not to exercise. I began saying, "My fitness goals as I age are to be able to walk wherever I want and to generally move without pain." But I know that's not good enough. For one, a casual stroll around the neighborhood and a few sets of tai chi aren't remotely aerobic. And also, I'm now on lisinopril because I found my blood pressure was spiking unexpectedly at odd times of the day.

Mel has just started the Couch-to-5K training program, and I'm intrigued. When I've run before, it was because I started slowly and gradually increased my time. This looks like a good program.

Goal for the weekend: buy new running shoes.

---

Update:

The Brooks Radius 7, found on sale at Columbus Running Company, a great store with very friendly, helpful staff who didn't make me feel like an intruder.

Yiddish Policemen's Union

For work, I've been making plans for one of those "Everybody Read the Same Book" programs. There's grant money available if you pick one of the NEA-approved titles. The choices are fine, but if I could pick any book at all for this program right now, it would be Michael Chabon's Yiddish Policemen's Union.

I was overwhelmed by this book. My review of it at my LibraryThing account was ridiculously brief:

A stale genre with a tired, down-trodden protagonist in an empty, hopeless setting, and yet this book is the most vibrant thing I've read in years.

It's a noir detective story (alcoholic detective investigates the murder of drug-addicted chess prodigy) in an alternative history setting (a Jewish refugee homeland in Alaska). We're at the end of the rope here: the main character is spiraling down the drain, and the district is about to revert to native Tlingit ownership, once again sending the Jews wandering (there is no state of Israel). There's nothing here but numb despair, and yet...it's funny and moving and hopeful.

There's an interview with Chabon (pronounced, I've only recently learned, SHAY-bon) at The A.V. Club where he says some interesting things about his own creative process and about the cultural status of "genre fiction." But don't go read that: read The Yiddish Policemen's Union instead.

Pride Surprise

Once again, we packed up the bubble machines and joined family and friends downtown in our annual bid to be the Best Gay Pride Audience. This year was extra special because my sister made a surprise visit from Maine.

It was great to see her, and I'd been missing her particularly badly lately. I even had a dream about her last week. I was part of Mission Impossible team, and we were pulling some caper in a political prison/mental hospital, and for some reason she was there. I abandoned the mission to spend some time with her (not sure if she was a patient or visiting a friend). My teammates understood.

Anyway, we greeted parade marchers at the entrance to downtown with cheers and bubbles. I think we are becoming essential to an enjoyable Gay Pride Celebration. This year, M&M secured individual packets of sunscreen to offer to parade marchers. M's genius marketing slogan: "Sunscreen! Rub it on your friends." Most of the go-go boys and topless lesbians already felt well-protected, but there were many people who accepted the offer for more.

I'd still love to have a Library Book Cart Drill Team in the parade, but how could I give up this much fun?

Library 2.0 Socks

I completed the Library 2.0 socks for Michael Doctor Stephens. I'm quite pleased with these. I love how the Spooky knits up. The color pooled a bit opposite the heel, but that's because I threw in some increases for a roomier gusset, which makes these socks fit really well.


What makes them "Library 2.0?" Because I started them right after meeting Michael in person, listening to him kvell about the possibilities of social technologies reshaping library services. It just "felt right" to try to customize the design for him.

I don't know that my ribbing experiment is completely successful. As I said, I based it on the braille for "L2.0", using purl stitches for the braille dots. To make the pattern stand out more, I doubled the rows (so the ribbing repeat is 12 rounds high rather than 6). I don't think it will really catch on as the "official" Library 2.0 sock ribbing. Let's call it a beta.

Do-over puts me in Ravenclaw

I had to take the Hogwarts House test more than once. The first time, all my scores were close, but Hufflepuff came out ahead. Sure, I'm "fair-minded," but "friendly, modest, and hard-working?" Uh, no. So the second time through...

The sorting hat says that I belong in Ravenclaw!

Said Ravenclaw, "We'll teach those whose intelligence is surest."

Ravenclaw students tend to be clever, witty, intelligent, and knowledgeable. Notable residents include Cho Chang and Padma Patil (objects of Harry and Ron's affections), and Luna Lovegood (daughter of The Quibbler magazine's editor).

Take the most scientific Harry Potter
Quiz ever created.

Get Sorted Now!

However, it seems pretty Slytherin-like to keep taking the test over so that you get into the House you think you belong in, doesn't it?

Cider Mooning

I've finally finished the first pair of socks I started in Cider Moon yarn.

The toe is in "Johnny Cash" and the rest is in "Cayenne." The construction method, as I mentioned earlier, I got from Sensational Knitted Socks: it's knit toe-up, but the construction method is the same as top down, with reinforced heel flap on the bottom.




I'm also working on these socks in "Casablanca." They are tests of a new pattern for my Toe-Up Sock Class. It's been awhile since I timed myself; this is how far I get in 3 hours.







And I started these (in "Spooky") last week during a library technology conference, casting on during Michael Stephens' keynote. Michael, who certainly has better things to do with his time, reads my blog (I'm guessing this post got his attention), and told me that he thought it was great to see me making the socks in person. Flattery will get you anywhere, particularly if you're a rock star in my profession. So Michael, if you're reading, send me your address, and the socks are yours. I even created a special ribbing pattern for the cuff, basing it on the braille cells for "L2.0".

Spring Stash Enhancement

I really don't like having a big stash. Stash feels like unkept promises. But I can't seem to pass up the fun of fiber festivals.

More timely bloggers reported on the Great Lakes Fiber Show last month. Great trip, good company, swell stash enhancement (some blue tweed yarn for a sweater, sock yarn with seaweed, and a lovely padauk wraps-per-inch tool). The highlight was meeting the Cider Moon folks and their entourage; it was awesome -- so much fun that most of my creative knitting energy since has been devoted to them, revising my toe-up socks class to specify using Cider Moon's Glacier. (Trust me, Matt, there are toe-up techniques that aren't hateful and make very nice, perfectly fitting socks).

This weekend, I hit the market at Knitters Connection with Mary, Meredith, and Cat. A small event, but choice stuff, and I think I spent more on yarn here than at Maryland and Wooster put together. Here's today's haul:

• From Neighborhood Fiber Company (aka Micah's guru Karida) three skeins of sock yarn named for D.C. neighborhoods, including one in honor of Micah. (Yes, Karida, I gave the skein of yarn to Jerry to give to Matt; here's photographic proof).
• From Dzined, some sport weight yarn in a wool/hemp blend (Meredith also scored some of this, which may become her first socks ever)
• From Cider Moon, 10 skeins representing their full range of sock yarns in fantastic colorways (I'm all about the names; call a yarn "Rainbow Trout" and have to own it).
  
• From Chameleon Colorworks, 2 skeins of "Evolution" stretched merino in "Earth" (Cat also bought this, so I thought we might do a knit-along of socks with a DNA cable).
• Some Interlacements Tiny Toes (Judy Ditmore has gotten me interested in the possibility of acquiring a sock knitting machine to help work through my piling stash-guilt).
• Some Apple Pie wool/mohair/silk/nylon purchased at the Yarn Barn booth from the legendary Pat (captured Reality Tour style here).

Jerry called later in the evening and said that the Cider Moon, Neighborhood, and Yarn Love peoples were gathering at Joe's Basement. I joined them for a few glasses of wine and fun chat. There was idle talk of indulging in some lesbian karaoke afterward, but the day's work was starting to take their toll. Here's wishing them all safe drives home.

Why is this man stalking me?

It's just so inconvenient, but this man seems to be stalking me.


His voice (which is strong and clear but a little soulless) on my iPod, his face on my desktop, videos of him playing Captain Jack in Torchwood hogging my bandwidth.*

Speculation is that Captain Jack is once again traveling with the Doctor, and I can't tell you how worried I am that he may show up unexpectedly with this guy:


I may have to knit a Dalek just to defend myself.

* Yes, I used BitTorrent to download Torchwood Season 1. I was perfectly willing to buy the DVD's but I don't have a Region 2 player.

PS to Bloglines users: Sorry the pictures are so huge; didn't expect that. But then you're getting the full effect of just how homely these men are. (^_^)

"Here at Reality Tour Headquarters, we go through a lot of vermouth"

Matt posted a great re-cap of the XY Knitters' Trip to Mary Sheep & Wool. Left to myself, I probably would have down-played the farting, but Matt's account does paint an accurate picture. I can only add camera-phone snapshots and these assorted out-of-context nuggets of conversation.

Caution: slow moving wood.

It was an explosion of color. It was nice. (No, Don, you can't write that down; it doesn't count).

Here at Reality Tour Headquarters, we go through a lot of vermouth.

I don't like to crochet blankets when my colostomy bag is full.

Don't eat the brown guacamole.

SSS: Sleepy Sac Syndrome.

I think a booger just fell down my shirt.

I wanna see a full on throw down over some yarn.

Somebody's nuts smell really good.

Really no fun in making up a song about not farting.

Who just put on the peppermint scented Preparation H?

Next year we call it "Maryland Sex & Wool."

There's more in my journal, but it's best not to get too specific since it involves an unfortunate copy of the Koran, obscure snatches of music from West Side Story, or who was going to "accidentally" surprise whom in the shower. None of this comes close to showing how much fun I had. Thanks for the great weekend, gentlemen. All your blogs just got moved from the "Knitting" folder to the "Friends" folder in my blogroll.

Oh, and just to show that the weekend was not utterly lacking in dignity, here's Seamus posing with my traveling sock: